Our posts are always complete opposites.
I guess we just really aren't that alike.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Problems
I'm having problems bouncing back from last week
I feel distant lately.
I wonder if he's noticed.
I wonder if he's hiding something --
He needs to talk to me like an adult
Instead of run away
I worry about him running away or giving up on me
Everytime I speak my mind.
I don't want to be afraid anymore.
I need to speak my mind.
I have too much stuff and it won't all fit in my
Head if I keep it in.
I always have to speak my mind.
I hope he understands and doesn't blow up
Again.
See...I'm living in fear :(
I'm not holding a grudge but it really hurt how I viewed
Our relationship. It from total fantasy to totally unpredictable.
I can't predict anything.
I also don't know what's there or not there.
I need a reality check from him
And honesty
Something is missing since the events of last Wednesday
And it's my sense of security
I feel distant lately.
I wonder if he's noticed.
I wonder if he's hiding something --
He needs to talk to me like an adult
Instead of run away
I worry about him running away or giving up on me
Everytime I speak my mind.
I don't want to be afraid anymore.
I need to speak my mind.
I have too much stuff and it won't all fit in my
Head if I keep it in.
I always have to speak my mind.
I hope he understands and doesn't blow up
Again.
See...I'm living in fear :(
I'm not holding a grudge but it really hurt how I viewed
Our relationship. It from total fantasy to totally unpredictable.
I can't predict anything.
I also don't know what's there or not there.
I need a reality check from him
And honesty
Something is missing since the events of last Wednesday
And it's my sense of security
Hey Bitches!
Everything is wonderful right now. I love how things are and I love how happy I am.
It's going to be a good week I can tell and it's only Tuesday.
I love Chelsea so much. I've never been so internally happy just by looking at someone smile before... It's cray.
I hope she get's home soon. I can't wait to kiss her.
I also can't wait to get this iPhone on Friday... I need some instagram in my life lol.
HAPPY HAPPY :) :)
-cory
9/10/2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
Lost.
Dear Cory,
I don't know how to get you to understand the difference between "how I feel" and "what is your fault".
Everytime I tell you how I feel, it doesn't mean it's your fault. It JUST means its how I feel.
I'm going to tell you how I feel.
I have alot of anxiety about what happend on Wednesday. I feel I can't trust you to not pack up and leave permanatly on a whim. You are very impulsive and it is scarey. I'm a very scared person right now.
This is just how I feel.
I feel I don't have a good support system right now. When I feel "sad" all I want is a good hug and a reminder that everything will be okay.
I'm not blaming you, this is just how I feel.
I feel upset when you are not happy with yourself, because you have no reason not to be. Life can be simple here, with me, if that's what you want though. I don't like drama. I don't like getting called names ("brat") or thretened("im looking at apartments" "I'll move and get out of your hair")
I feel threatened.
I feel devastated.
This is just how I feel.
I feel very alone.
I feel a little depressed.
I'm not blaming you this is just how I feel.
I don't want you to be with me just because I'm the only person you know in Minnesota.
I don't want you to feel stuck.
You are not stuck.
How do you really feel?
I'm even afraid to post this because I'm afraid you are going to freak out on me.
Can I please just tell you how I feel???????????
I don't know how to get you to understand the difference between "how I feel" and "what is your fault".
Everytime I tell you how I feel, it doesn't mean it's your fault. It JUST means its how I feel.
I'm going to tell you how I feel.
I have alot of anxiety about what happend on Wednesday. I feel I can't trust you to not pack up and leave permanatly on a whim. You are very impulsive and it is scarey. I'm a very scared person right now.
This is just how I feel.
I feel I don't have a good support system right now. When I feel "sad" all I want is a good hug and a reminder that everything will be okay.
I'm not blaming you, this is just how I feel.
I feel upset when you are not happy with yourself, because you have no reason not to be. Life can be simple here, with me, if that's what you want though. I don't like drama. I don't like getting called names ("brat") or thretened("im looking at apartments" "I'll move and get out of your hair")
I feel threatened.
I feel devastated.
This is just how I feel.
I feel very alone.
I feel a little depressed.
I'm not blaming you this is just how I feel.
I don't want you to be with me just because I'm the only person you know in Minnesota.
I don't want you to feel stuck.
You are not stuck.
How do you really feel?
I'm even afraid to post this because I'm afraid you are going to freak out on me.
Can I please just tell you how I feel???????????
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
humanahumana
A post by Cory Fishbutt ( Y . ) <--- butt
^ butt freckle
9-2-13
_________________________________________________________________________
So it's like 9:30ish or whateverish.
I've noticed that I tend to add ish to things I am not 100% about being accurateish.
Oh shish.
My phone is shut off today.
It's really sad.
I'm even more shut off from the electronic world.
But I'm getting an iPhone 4s on straighttalk when I get paid. I deserve it.
But also I'm getting Chelsea some cute things :)
And her some money... cause she's helped me out so much... cause I came to MN so poor and hoboish lol.
I love her so much.
Things are really looking up.
I can't wait until she gets home tonight.
So friikin SEXCITED.
I mean... excited lol... uhum... cough lol
Until next time, this is the RHINOFISHBLOG5000SOMETHINGORANOTHER 2.1.beta
^ butt freckle
9-2-13
_________________________________________________________________________
So it's like 9:30ish or whateverish.
I've noticed that I tend to add ish to things I am not 100% about being accurateish.
Oh shish.
My phone is shut off today.
It's really sad.
I'm even more shut off from the electronic world.
But I'm getting an iPhone 4s on straighttalk when I get paid. I deserve it.
But also I'm getting Chelsea some cute things :)
And her some money... cause she's helped me out so much... cause I came to MN so poor and hoboish lol.
I love her so much.
Things are really looking up.
I can't wait until she gets home tonight.
So friikin SEXCITED.
I mean... excited lol... uhum... cough lol
Until next time, this is the RHINOFISHBLOG5000SOMETHINGORANOTHER 2.1.beta
Friday, August 30, 2013
Night shifts and Sex
Soooooooooooooooooooooooo
I'm really bored.
When I'm awake Cory is sleeping BLAH BLAH BLAH
looking at Tattoos while I'm waiting for him to wake up
me and Shelby are getting matching friendship tats <3
and im going to get a chakra tattoo too
SO EXCITED
so im saving up for my tattoos and a trip to the mall of America.
eeeee.
IM A SPIRTUAL GANGSTERRRR
anyway, cory texted me.
He's ready for me.......................
;)
I'm really bored.
When I'm awake Cory is sleeping BLAH BLAH BLAH
looking at Tattoos while I'm waiting for him to wake up
me and Shelby are getting matching friendship tats <3
and im going to get a chakra tattoo too
SO EXCITED
so im saving up for my tattoos and a trip to the mall of America.
eeeee.
IM A SPIRTUAL GANGSTERRRR
anyway, cory texted me.
He's ready for me.......................
;)
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Post by Chelsea: 2nd day of school and other things.
yeah. The past is hard, so what.
But I think that if I didn't have my past I wouldn't be able to "handle" Cory at any
other time in my life. That's why I'm glad we got together ten years later.
Cory, like myself, needs attention and compliments and faithfulness. It took me awhile to learn that I wanted these things formyself. And it took me even more time to know that I can not only receive those things that I expect, but also give them...... and I'm going to do that for Cory.
I've always thought I would have something exceptional one day and just like everything else that is exception, its hard, and it will be hard. I don't care if it's hard. I just want to be able to tell Cory when I feel like life is too much for me. I need someone to talk to. I can't hide my emotions, I will never be able to do that(wish I could sometimes).
The problem is though, all my ex boyfriends were robots. They had no emotions so "being there" for me was quite easy for them because it didn't require much out of them. Cory is emotional and get's crabby. In part, its a good thing I need someone that doesn't let me get away with anything at all. But babe, right back at ya ;)
So I guess this is my first time dating an actual human being.
I'm human too.
This love will always be alive.
But I think that if I didn't have my past I wouldn't be able to "handle" Cory at any
other time in my life. That's why I'm glad we got together ten years later.
Cory, like myself, needs attention and compliments and faithfulness. It took me awhile to learn that I wanted these things formyself. And it took me even more time to know that I can not only receive those things that I expect, but also give them...... and I'm going to do that for Cory.
I've always thought I would have something exceptional one day and just like everything else that is exception, its hard, and it will be hard. I don't care if it's hard. I just want to be able to tell Cory when I feel like life is too much for me. I need someone to talk to. I can't hide my emotions, I will never be able to do that(wish I could sometimes).
The problem is though, all my ex boyfriends were robots. They had no emotions so "being there" for me was quite easy for them because it didn't require much out of them. Cory is emotional and get's crabby. In part, its a good thing I need someone that doesn't let me get away with anything at all. But babe, right back at ya ;)
So I guess this is my first time dating an actual human being.
I'm human too.
This love will always be alive.
August 28, 2013
A blog by Cory.
_______________________________
Well.
I leave to catch the bus to go to my first day at work at 4:45.
Target.
It's hard to wake up from a nice sleep to these texts.
Texts saying Chelsea is weak.
Saying that going with him is a possibility.
That just really hurts.
I'm not unemotional.
My heart is weak.
Especially this week.
But.
But.
Butt.
I understand.
I'm okay with working on it with her.
I really am.
I love her.
I'd do anything to have her choose me over anyone else.
I know she's the one for me.
That's why I won't give up.
Not now.
Not tomorrow.
Not a month from now.
Not ever.
I promise that to MYSELF.
I don't like being an asshole and not let her do things.
But, I just know how those situations end. I've DONE IT..
I'm most definitely not oblivious.
Nor am I naive.
Trying to keep myself happy.
Because most of my life that's how I've kept myself sane.
I guess I really can control my emotions internally.
But my love for Chelsea is like an open heart surgery.
If she ever did something unfaithful, that heart is ruined.
And that patient dies.
I don't want the patient to die.
I wouldn't want her patient to die either.
A blog by Cory.
_______________________________
Well.
I leave to catch the bus to go to my first day at work at 4:45.
Target.
It's hard to wake up from a nice sleep to these texts.
Texts saying Chelsea is weak.
Saying that going with him is a possibility.
That just really hurts.
I'm not unemotional.
My heart is weak.
Especially this week.
But.
But.
Butt.
I understand.
I'm okay with working on it with her.
I really am.
I love her.
I'd do anything to have her choose me over anyone else.
I know she's the one for me.
That's why I won't give up.
Not now.
Not tomorrow.
Not a month from now.
Not ever.
I promise that to MYSELF.
I don't like being an asshole and not let her do things.
But, I just know how those situations end. I've DONE IT..
I'm most definitely not oblivious.
Nor am I naive.
Trying to keep myself happy.
Because most of my life that's how I've kept myself sane.
I guess I really can control my emotions internally.
But my love for Chelsea is like an open heart surgery.
If she ever did something unfaithful, that heart is ruined.
And that patient dies.
I don't want the patient to die.
I wouldn't want her patient to die either.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
I'm a busy bear : '(
I want to spend my freetime with Cory
<3
Chelsea
I want to spend my freetime with Cory
<3
Chelsea
Mondays
9:00-:50
Nutrition Class
11:00-12:15
Fiction CW
3:00-4:15
Lit Theory
FreeTime
12:15-3:00
after 4:30
(Finishline)
Nutrition Class
11:00-12:15
Fiction CW
3:00-4:15
Lit Theory
FreeTime
12:15-3:00
after 4:30
(Finishline)
Tuesdays
8:00-8:50
Yoga Teach
12:00-12:45
Atwood yoga Teach
6:00-6:50
Yogalates Teach
7:00
Outreach Meetings
9/10-9/24-10/8-10/22
11/5-11/19-12/3
Yoga Teach
12:00-12:45
Atwood yoga Teach
6:00-6:50
Yogalates Teach
7:00
Outreach Meetings
9/10-9/24-10/8-10/22
11/5-11/19-12/3
*ReturnYoga at 7:30
FreeTime:
1-5
1-5
Wednesdays
*6:30am ReturnYoga
*6:30am ReturnYoga
9:00-:50
Nutrition
11:00-12:15
Fiction
3:00-4:15
Lit Theory
5:00-7:30
Advanced Poetry
Nutrition
11:00-12:15
Fiction
3:00-4:15
Lit Theory
5:00-7:30
Advanced Poetry
Freetime:
12:15-3:00
after 7:30
12:15-3:00
after 7:30
Thursdays
8:00-:50
Teach Yoga
12:00-:45
Teach atwood Yoga
6:00-:50
Pilates Teach
*Return Yoga 7:30
Freetime
9-11am
1-5pm
Teach Yoga
12:00-:45
Teach atwood Yoga
6:00-:50
Pilates Teach
*Return Yoga 7:30
Freetime
9-11am
1-5pm
Fridays
*Returnyoga 6:30
10am-:50
Teach Pilates
10am-:50
Teach Pilates
Finishinline
Saturdays/Sundays
Finishline
Saturdays/Sundays
Finishline
August 27, 2013
This is the first blog.
It is a happy blog.
Not really sure who came up with the name "blog".
They need to be punched.
But I won't punch them.
Most likely.
He could be dead.
Or it could be a she.
Which would be rude of me to punch.
Women have feelings.
I like women.
But, one in particular.
Chelsea Rhino.
I love her so much.
She has changed my life.
She is the love of my life.
I want to marry her.
One day, someday?
Okay.
I have so much fun with her.
I really do.
Although sometimes I am moody bear.
But I have a few reasons.
I never mean to take them out on her.
She is so sweet.
And I feel bad when I'm a bad bear around her.
I love her.
Did I mention that yet?
If you don't like the format of my thoughts then fucka youa.
Not you Chelsea, if you're reading this.
I love you.
I also love Noodles and Co. now.
That's some good ass shit.
Chelsea took me to eat there.
Damn.
So many soda flavors.
That's gonna be my new hang spot.
Well this all for tonight.
Goodnight blog... ya bitch.
This is the first blog.
It is a happy blog.
Not really sure who came up with the name "blog".
They need to be punched.
But I won't punch them.
Most likely.
He could be dead.
Or it could be a she.
Which would be rude of me to punch.
Women have feelings.
I like women.
But, one in particular.
Chelsea Rhino.
I love her so much.
She has changed my life.
She is the love of my life.
I want to marry her.
One day, someday?
Okay.
I have so much fun with her.
I really do.
Although sometimes I am moody bear.
But I have a few reasons.
I never mean to take them out on her.
She is so sweet.
And I feel bad when I'm a bad bear around her.
I love her.
Did I mention that yet?
If you don't like the format of my thoughts then fucka youa.
Not you Chelsea, if you're reading this.
I love you.
I also love Noodles and Co. now.
That's some good ass shit.
Chelsea took me to eat there.
Damn.
So many soda flavors.
That's gonna be my new hang spot.
Well this all for tonight.
Goodnight blog... ya bitch.
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